Zombies in plain English

LeLefever's commoncraft.com creation of "Zombie's in Plain English" is one of those videos adults wish they had seen when they were kids, preferably before October 31 and the Halloween shenanigans started. Thankfully, for those who believe, it is available now!

Children generally spend that entire day in nervous excitement. They need not be reminded "Danger may be lurking where you least expect it!" Many neighborhood families decorate their homes and feed the frenzy for the entire month.

The sense of danger fills the air.

If children knew how to identify zombies, they probably would not be so freaked by everything that goes bump after sunset Holloween night.

Where is the voice that revealed the clues about the eyes, the shoulders "those reaching arms" droopy legs and pale skin, LeFever mentions?

The terrified children might have seen those things--had they stayed around to look.

On Halloween night, children are so busy looking for candy and watching for monster it would have been great for them to know "zombies don't eat candy; they eat brains", as LeFever said, although I am not sure which is more scary.

There would have been no fear of Halloween parties had they known "zombies don't dance". They might even have dared to dance with the weirdo dressed as Lurch or The Mummy.

LeFever said, "Your first reaction may be to retreat to a home or business". With all of the goblins at most houses in the neighborhood, that should not be something a child would consider!

But retreat?

Yes! "Consider a retreat to high altitudes", he said, "because zombies don't do well in the cold; they get brittle and break" and "they slow down". Yes, that would have worked for children who lived closer to the mountain top or in snow belts.

In snow zones, zombies should not have even been out! Everything was frozen so there was no need to worry about escaping a zombie on the water.

Kids in the southern regions, especially deserts were toast!

Ultimately, LeFever's best survival advice was "Plan a counter attack!"

Zombies have to be killed.

Kill that brain and stop it. Shoot it in the head. Decapitate it by axe, machete, or chain saw. He even mentioned grenading but cautioned that creating a flaming zombie would not be a good idea.. (Heat must work the opposite of cold.)

Zombies bite! Who knew?

According to LeFever zombie bites are deadly; there is no cure. The only solution offered is death, even if it is a friend who had the misfortune of being bitten.

"Kill them with dignity" but do it, was the bottom line in the video. There was only one life, one brain to save.

On second thought, LeFever's warning is for adults--today!

Be ware! "Danger may be lurking where you least expect it....."