How do you say goodbye to your child?

At a Glance

Who: The writer
What: Contemplating the death of an adult child
When: November 7, 2009


Cell phone buzz forced me from my Saturday morning reverie with a message asking me, "Do you know...?"

No, I didn't know and as I read farther, I did not want to know.

Unfortunately, you cannot "unknow" anything. Once it is in your brain, you are pretty much stuck with it unless, of course, you get amnesia, or Alzheimer's disease.

I was stuck with the knowledge that another classmate's child had died less than six months following the first.

Both were young men in their 30s when a child is supposed to be in the prime of life.

I looked through the pictures displayed of this child's life and wondered how you say goodbye.

After friends and family finished sharing their remembrances, and pictures flashed methodically on the screen, I realized one thing: You cannot say it.

A child is in your heart forever.

Your hopes and dreams may be shattered by untimely death, but there is no goodbye--not to your child.

The eyes have only closed in sleep.

If you believe that, you softly say, "Good night, sweet child, I'll see you in the morning."